Being happy living a fulfilling life to my standards is something I’ve been concerned about around since I turned 19. It was around the time my Dad died and I was dealing with grief and some depression to this, I caught myself wondering was I ever happy? When do I feel happiness? Not to say from that moment onwards I did everything for my happiness; it’s been a long journey.
The reason I’ve been thinking about this lately is a traveling and moving to Australia was a combined decision based on how I felt in Canada. What I’ve learned since moving here though is nothing changes immediately, and it’s about giving myself time to change and feel comfortable and relaxed.
The year before moving to Australia was one of my most stressful it seemed. I had finally finished university, was working a full-time job in my field and up until that point I had thought life would somehow get easier. Really, no one told me life keeps getting harder. It never seems to level out and feel easier. I believe people just get better at handling everything.
This wasn’t the case for me at the time, for me every stressful situation seemed to lead to another. Finishing school meant no more homework, but now I had to pay off my student loans. Working full time meant making money, but I was also tied down to city life and few vacation days.
What I’ve learned since last year is, money is just money, it’s not a definition of success. It doesn’t bring happiness and it doesn’t make life easier or reduce stress. On the second situation of vacation time, life is hard, really hard. As I said before it doesn’t get easier after a certain point. In terms of stress, life is a continuous span of problems, and solutions.
My way of combating this endless circuit is to acknowledge life is hard, problems will come, but so will the solutions. I feel it’s better to focus on mental health and making time for what matters most (not work, but family and friends).
Vacation plays a big role in this because it’s normal to be stuck in a rut. Getting physically and emotionally out of a situation for me is the best way to come back into it feeling refreshed and ready to deal with it again. This isn’t running away from problems, but in times of high stress it’s good to take a break when possible.
This is why I believe two-week vacations are terrible.
Last year, when I was in this rut of dealing with all kinds of stress and emotions I was again wondering: am I happy? When did I last feel happy? What can I do to change this? I couldn’t answer any of these questions aside from the last which led me to travel to Australia.
I knew I needed a change, but with just a two-week vacation a year I didn’t feel I could do the amount of traveling I wanted to when I was younger. And I wasn’t okay with shutting down my dreams because of my career. I hoped this would lead my career to another point where I could have a better work life balance.
Months later, I finally arrived in Australia. I imagined I would feel relaxed, at ease and happy. I had finally done what I wanted to for so long and I no longer had to worry about my life in Canada.
Wrong. It took months for most of the stress to release from my body. For me it wasn’t just about traveling somewhere new, I still held stress and problems with me because it’s what I was used to for years. Things don’t just magically go away with travelling, it takes time, commitment and self-care.
In all of this time I came to realize this. When I was in Canada drowning in stress, I wasn’t able to find what could make me happy, or even figure out why I wasn’t happy. Sometimes big changes have to be made to help release loads of stress.
I still deal with stress here in Australia, but I gained a different perspective that I didn’t have before. No matter the stress, I always have a feeling, everything is going to be just alright. I can also answer now if I feel happy or what to do to fix it.
